Listening…

Listening is vital to understanding what is going on. Listening sounds simple but it can be very hard to listen to someone in distress. The young person may be quiet and withdrawn or the listener may feel helpless or find the situation upsetting to think about.

Parents, teachers, doctors can listen better by ensuring they have the energy and the support needed to be able to listen with their hearts and not just their ears.

• Make time to listen properly with minimal distraction and no interruptions.

• Let the young person see that you take their problems and worries seriously, don't blame them or belittle them.

Younger children may find it hard to talk about their feelings. Play together and look for clues in their play. If things come out in their play you can ask them what is going on. If they don't open up, let the subject go and come back to it later.

In adolescents, having a conversation in the midst of an activity or while driving, may lead to a better connection.

• Don't judge the teenager.

• Try not to assume you know what's wrong. Use open questions such as 'I've been worried about you, is there anything I can help you with:

• Ask gentle but direct questions if worried about risky behaviours

Useful Text for Parents: So Young, So Sad, So Listen by Philip Graham